Should have written this when I first had the idea, had great words to put down then…
It has struck me, ever since my first daughter was born nearly 5 1/2 years ago, and even before then actually, how primal is the way I feel for my girls. I find myself getting upset by any perceived slight on them, even from their peers! How can I blame child not yet 2 (as my youngest is) for upsetting or hurting another, they aren’t even consciously aware! But I find myself wanting to cry, scream, rage, throw a hissy-fit, fight… on behalf of my girls. As for adults upsetting them, forget it, I would happily rip your throat out for daring to say or do anything that may damage their self-esteem or just wipe their beautiful smiles away.
Thing is, although I would not and never will strike my girls, I do shout. A LOT! And I remember how horrible and scary even that can be, let alone the looks I get from others. But should I worry? My youngest is still forming her basic personality though cheekiness, cheeriness and caring seem to be her main attributes. My eldest is sensitive, friendly, caring, intelligent, gorgeous, popular and mostly happy. So why am I worrying?
Because I’m their Mummy. And worry seems to be the highlight of the job description. I’ve managed to get my eldest to promise not to move far from me when she gets older (I wish I wasn’t 200 miles away from my parents). So far she’s persuaded me that when she gets a boyfriend (after divorcing her current husband one presumes!) that I will have to let them at least move out into the next street! Am I really joking? I don’t know. All I know is I want to keep them safe and happy with me and protect them from anything hurtful, harmful or dangerous. Can’t though can I?
A Mother’s love eh? A primal physical ache that feels great and hurts like blazes. Fantastic!!
