I’m a Librarian…

GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!

I’ve just been fecking patronised by the bloody marketing admin person!  I am sooooo insulted.  How DARE she speak to me like that.  Just proves the status and way I am viewed in this rathole of a place.  As if it wasn’t bad anough that I didn’t get the job I really wanted yesterday (interview was Tuesday) meaning I am stuck here with no prospects and no future I’m now being patronised by the bloody administration!

We put out a magazine for which the contributions are by our Reading and Writing group (aged 11-14).  My Library Assistant and I are incredibly proud that our group numbers over 40 and includes able and talented, students for whom English is not their first language and some on the SEN register (or not registered but still having difficulties).  Their commonality is that they are ALL enthusiastic readers at their own level.  We don’t force them to read to us, but guide their choices and provide activities.  We are also encouraging free expression and allow them to write whatever they want, or give them ideas to get them started.  It’s up to them if they show us or not.  We used to do a termly magazine, and we’ve just re-started this after a 3-year absence.  The students who contribute an article (not a book review as all members should do that) get to keep their own copy and then we print some for general reading.  I sent copies to the 2 Headteachers (don’t ask) and the Head of Lower School as I thought they would be interested and as proud of our kids as we are.

One was and sent us a lovely congratulatory email.  The third we’ve not heard from.  But the other of the Heads has just used that admin person to ask me in future to send the magazine to him for checking before printing and giving out.  Apparently he’s not happy with the standard of English even though my editorial clearly states 

“Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors are all the students’ own as we emphasise letting their imaginations run free!”

I am so angry.  Clearly he didn’t even read the whole thing and I WILL NOT restrict their imaginations and creative outlet, which may be the only one some of our students have.  I’d rather just give up on the restarted magazine.

It’s typical of this place, just when I am feeling positive and happy about something, they slap me down.  If it wasn’t for my fab workmates, the mostly fantastic students and the fact I need to money I’d fucking walk.  Yup, have even been reduced to using expletives I’m that mad.

Lets hope I don’t live to regret this posting…

Acknowledging Sexuality – younger and younger

I’ve recently been able to communicate more often with someone I consider family, as a niece/nephew.  They are not actually blood but I have been a figure in their life longer than their memory will allow them to forget (poor thing!).

They’ve got themselves a Social Networking ID, to which I have full access.  So being a nosey sort I had a good delve through.  And turns out they are bisexual and have embarked on their first same sex relationship.  They are still at school, their parents know.  Whether their parents are happy or not I do not know, but they are still living at home and their family is aware of their relationship.  This is not a fling, they feel they are in love, and they probably are.

My feelings are well known, I do not believe the genitalia of a person is important, it is the personality, the spirit, the treatment they mete out that we should judge by.  I do not believe people should ‘come out’… why?  It implies a difference, an announcement.  I hope when my daughters are old enough they won’t need to make any announcement, will just feel comfortable saying “Mum, meet my girl/boyfriend”.

This is not the first time someone still at school has made their sexuality known to me, and the best advice I received ever (it first happened in ‘28′ times) was to react, act and offer the same support I would to any student regardless of orientation.  So I do.  I have to warn same sexuality interestees to be careful who they tell given the hotbed nature of other students and the lack of acceptance this often entails, but for their safety and not because I want them closeted. 

I think this is a good turn of events.  When I was at school no-one would have dared openly have a same sex relationship; nowadays those as young as year 9 (aged 13/14) feel able to be open if they have strong support and personalities.  This can only be a good thing.  Whilst there is still judgement and a need to ‘come out’ then the sooner this happens, and this must mean they are certain not pressured, then I believe they will be matured, well rounded and happy with themselves sooner as adults.

That HAS to be good.

How do you know your friend is true…

A couple of people will know what has jolted me to write this…

How do you truly know that a friend is the best? How do you know that if you telephoned them at 3am with what, to you, is a major crisis, they will listen or even come over and not tell you to wait until morning?

I guess I am lucky in that I can think of a few friends whom I could do this too, and more than on one hand although that is all you really need I believe. But of these I have fallen out with 4 to the point where we have not spoken for a year or more! Seriously.

A friend when I was at school, once told me that she loved her friends and that you only really knew they were friends when you could argue with them and still love them. Thank you Cate because although the concept seemed weird to me at the time ‘Love your friends, how odd?’ (naivety of puberty…) it is so true.

I love them, they love me and now I have the confidence to know I can truly be myself, as can they, and we can disagree, without losing each other. Often you don’t even get that in your family. Lucky me.