Driving Instructor Career – stalls…

Tee Hee.  Though sadly it has stalled.  I have done my 6 days (40 hours) in one go at the College, followed up by Session 21 – another 1-day classroom session.  And have made a good start on my Teaching folder, marketing ideas and plans for teaching aids.  But cannot book my final College sessions until I book my final test, which is the Part 3 Instructor test.  Got enough people volunteer to let me ‘teach’ them the set tests, so could arrange LOTSA practise.  There are 10 partnerships of set tests, half-hour per half of the partnership making a 1-hour test based on role play (Am sure I’ve detailed this before).

But the test is £99 and we have no spare cash at all.  So everything is stalled.  Was hoping to be teaching by February so lets hope Mr Claus is a generous bunny to me this year!

On the plus side did the PCV theory and hazard perception tests, which I had to do in readiness for the practical training and test to pass the D1 minibus entitlement, so I can drive the school minibus.  And passed with flying colours!  95% for theory (85% required) and 85% for hazard (67% required).

Ah well…

Update on the ’situation’ with unrelated related kids

Well… it is a while.  Sentencing came back.  The perpetrator got 5 years.  5 YEARS!!!!!  At this point we realised (my partner and I) that we had not been told the full truth of the accusations.  And they were worse than we had suspected.  Still the Mother disbelieves the guilt.  Still saying it’s all a mistake.  To the point that when the perpetrator gets out, which she believes will be in half the time though is unlikely to be as that will necessitate an acceptance of guilt and rehabilitation, anyway, when he gets out and those concerned are both out of school age (will be 16 and 18), that they can move out so he can move back in.

I can’t forgive that.  It’s sending SUCH an obvious message that she thinks they are lying.  And she and he plan to renew their vows.  Hope she doesn’t ask me ‘cos I would not bless that.  I am aware that if she reads this she will never speak to me again.  She has, luckily, never actually asked my opinion and I have been very careful with what I say.  But this has gone too far.  I even offered to have custody of one of the girls as I was so worried, but she basically said if this happened my partner would end up in the dock accused of vile crimes.  Not meaning my partner is capable but meaning her child would lie, again.  Except they have not lied at all.

This is so distressing and I really don’t know what to do.  I guess I just do what I am already doing, and that’s be VERY careful. 

Moods

Moods – they’re a funny thing aren’t they?  Weird how something that makes us human, that controls actions and thoughts and effects us physically is something over which we have no physical control and can change for reasons unknown too.

Apparently I am depressed.  I reject this mainly because I genuinely don’t think I am and that to give me the label so easily does a disservice to those who do suffer this debilitating illness.  However I do accept the diagnosis on my recent ‘off-work’ chitty that said ’stress related problems’.  Not suprisingly after all the career and personal shite that has gone on over the year really.  And they did not give me happy pills, (shame, LOL!, though I find wine-time helps…) but have referred me for counselling to obtain coping strategies.  I think this is a top method of dealing with me and think my Doctors Surgery is ace.  Could have done without the cheery ‘Beating the Blues’ group invitation that arrived in the post.  The twee cheeriness sent me spiralling into anger!  Still, not read it properly yet and I think there’s an online group to access so… potential.

See, that’s just it.  I am in a constant state of anger, edginess, shoutiness, unable to see reason (especially concerning my long-suffering partner) and found myself today genuinely thinking I should just take off for a bit and give everyone, plus me, a break.  But at NO POINT have I ever felt suicidal, or as though I cannot function.  I may not WANT to function, but do ‘cos I have to.  That is very different.

I don’t really want to list the reasons why I’ve ended up here, mainly ‘cos I don’t really know myself, but also ‘cos people concerned may read this and I can’t be bothered with any more hassle.  I’ve forced myself back to Tap and Troupe classes, which was hard the first week ‘cos I ended up in tears (unexpected they were) and therefore had to tell people there a bit of what was going on.  But since then have been having a ‘reet laff’ there.  You’d never think I was stressed the way I’ve been most of this week.  I feel like a fraud!  Still, top nights out and in have helped, with friends who are fully aware of my unpredictability and have full empathy, most have been/still are way worse!

Oh well.  What can I say…  Better do another post for career updates and other stuff…

Ooooh, forgot the mention that ol’ standard of ‘tired all the time’.  Which I am, and don’t know why as I am getting enough sleep and my blood tests came back showing no anaemia (or thyroid problems, or arthritis!).  However the ERS or ESR or whatever is raised.  Which is inflammation of the blood and therefore shows some sort of infection.  Mine measured 35 and high is 18.  But I did have flu so…  Anyway, got to have another blood test on 12th December, and go for a Chest X-ray.  Maybe I should look this up on t’interweb…  Or maybe not!  What I don’t know after all…