Emotionally – not so hot

Definitely not one of my better weeks.  I’m taking everything FAR too personally and get angry so quickly.  I get upset if the girls aren’t quick enough to get dressed, I get angry at well-intentioned and accurate advice, I get angry if my suggestions are ignored or dismissed.  I have this permanent knot of nerves extending down my torso that I cannot get rid of.  I am NOT sleeping well.

Then I read blogs of others and I know how lucky I am.  The Doctors  gave me ID to a ‘beating the blues’ website that I’ve been on once, but given the main problem is no time to fit everything in, it’s just another stress!  And I firmly believe this is only temporary.  I am NOT depressed, I am stressed, anxious and worried.  Yeah, me and the rest of the Country!  A twee and silly website with questions and advice to fit yet MORE in to my life as ‘me time’.

In the meantime I just hope those of you who are close by can stick with me and dodge the bullets for now.  I don’t mean it…

Fingers crossed I may be a Driving Instructor…

in less than 2 weeks!  At least I hope to be qualified, then I’ll have to deal with the practicalities of setting up.

I’ve a busy timetable of practising which I am getting on with and I genuinely believe I could be a very good, if not excellent driving instructor.  Still, the lovely compliments of friends probably aren’t the best judge of this!  I can rely on the bloke I am ‘teaching’ tonight to be brutally honest though.

My website is up, and nowhere near the standard I may have hoped for, but it’s there!  I guess it’ll have to do (link on the right…)  I eventually would like to reduce my librarianship post to a jobshare, to ensure a regular wage enough to pay the whole mortgage, and then be free to organise myself the rest of the time, this should be ‘doable’, if anyone wants to jobshare!

Just thought I’d let you know!

Good news… I think

Well, it all hit the fan before Xmas.  I told my soon-to-be-ex friend exactly the damage she was causing her offspring by making it so obvious that she did not believe them.  Final straw for me was when she said she expected them to move out “as they would be old enough” when he is released, so he could move back in (they would be 16 and 18, nowhere near old enough IMHO).  I had spent the year treading on egg shells and that was that.  We were friends no more as it seemed the truth was not what she needed to hear, she wanted ‘we support you’ platitudes and sending of hugs.  I also had my Godchildren’s be-friended on social networking sites and ability to keep in contact via their father, so the need to keep Mum sweet so as to be a sane and supportaive adult in their lives no longer was necessary.

One month (or so) later and I received a friend request from her.  I responded simply with ‘what’s changed?’.  And she is leaving him.  This I am extremely happy about as to me it proves she has seen the light, or is at least coming towards it.  And shows the children the unconditional love they deserve, and the belief in the ordeal they’ve been put through.  I recognise how awful this is for her though.  She intends to remain friends with him, I do not believe this will be possible but I understand why she wants to try, I think it’s fear of what he will do with this rejection.  I have re-friended but things will never be the same.  And if he ever reappears, I, and my family, are gone.